is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
