i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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