let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
