Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize