Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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