I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
