Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
