My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
