I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my shit smells like andre
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
