I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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