Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
