PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
