Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
