I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I could fuck to npr.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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