dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
