I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize