Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We need to get me chipped asap
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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