he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
