My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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