i would punch a child for taco bell
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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