do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
