so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize