she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
