I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
