Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
