why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
