His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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