omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
