ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
