tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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