I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
