I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
