Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
