But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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