Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize