dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
