We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
