Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
