I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize