Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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