Porn is love you can see.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize