What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The adults are the big ones right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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