using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
