how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
