I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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