Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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