Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
