a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
