Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
