We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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