What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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