hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
