I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
