i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
