real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
