Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
4 words: hood of his car
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
