Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
