no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
