Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize