Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
