idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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