i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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