Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
