Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
