after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
