I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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