will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
