Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
