What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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