Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
